on june 5th i ran my first half marathon. not that i’ve said anything about it lately or anything. . .;)
afterwards, as my friend and i were driving north, she asked how i was feeling after finishing the race. and these words tumbled from my lips before my brain had a moment to filter them.
today is the first day i have felt like myself again.
as they were spilled out, i knew it was true. following the admission, justifying word vomit spewed. a brain searching for rationale and reasoning behind the feeling. because i have learned that sometimes the feelings and irrational can flow from the same fountain if i am not allowing my mind to be renewed. but this feeling was accompanied with peace. flowing strong and running deep.
i finally felt accepted for who i am, not who i was.
and that was so incredibly freeing. living so long in the shadow of the choices of another has taken a toll. and i am guilty of allowing it to define my choices and actions more than i’d like to admit.
as i have landed back on the east coast, i am wrestling with being who i am in a land so full of who i was. not knowing the answers but knowing that i am fervently in pursuit of the freedom He died for. . .
. . .and wondering how to find it in the day-to-day.
do you ever struggle with being yourself? how do you overcome?