a few days ago i wrote about problem solving, silently, with the Lord. well, i have a confession to make. . .
i am scared to hear what He has to say.
scared of what else He may ask. knowing He will equip me but being completely and utterly afraid. over the past ten months His whisper has asked things of me that i never fathomed possible but with His help alone. . .i obeyed. despite that, i am lacing my running shoes and running in the opposite direction.
you see, i thought if i quieted my inner circle, then i would automatically put myself in a place where i would be taking everything to the Lord. and i am realizing that’s not how it works.
the path to righteousness requires discipline and doesn’t happen by default.
there are more than enough things to fill our lives. blogs, tweets, tv, movies, blackberries, iphones. . .you name it. by and large, our culture does not appreciate silence. and today, i have not spent a single minute giving my undivided attention to the Lord.
i have merely traded one chorus for another. and i need to shut it all off to hear His whisper.
i have the distinct image tonight that He is ready to talk if i will listen. . .but i continue to resist. because i think He is going to ask me to get more uncomfortable. to survive more hard.
i am afraid. . .but as alece so astutely pointed out the other day:
don’t forget, courage is mostly doing it afraid.
so tonight. . .i am turning off the computer early. silencing my phone. and choosing courage. . .
. . .even though i am shaking in my knees.
are you ever afraid to hear what the Lord has to say?