to a finger, a bottle, a best friend. to a faded old racing form. sometimes we hold on for dear life to the very things that actually keep us from living it. but that comes with an upside. it’s the way we feel when we finally let go.
the trick i guess is to not find a way around the curve balls life serves up, but to live with them. a halfway happy uneasy alliance. and to search for new things to cling to. and when you finally find them to hang on just as tight. and around and around we go. holding on until the time comes to say goodbye. and like it or not, ready or not, you have to accept one universal truth.
life is messy.
always and for all of us. but a wise man once said, “maybe messy is what you need.” and i think he might be right.”
. . .in plain sight, series finale
the time had come to say goodbye. or rather my preferred version of ‘see you later.’ my once cluttered walls stood bare. hole’s a testament to living. a room once filled with life was full of boxes and suitcases. holding my things. but not my heart.
my heart found so much along the left coast.
and a life all my own. excitement and dreams fulfilled stood before me yet i was petrified to go. afraid to leave the new comfortable of me i’d discovered on the left coast. scared to leave my heart along the cliffs lining laguna. now recrafed, reformed, and redeemed.
living far from your roots is hard. but the easiest decision would have been to stay. to continue life in paradise. but the door to opportunity had knocked hard and it was time to walk through it.
it was sunny. with an occasional rain. tiny seed of hope and faith growing with roots deep. soil tilled and nurtured from this season. but the spring had ended and it was time to turn my eyes toward summer. allowing the hot, humid sun to create beads of hard earned sweat along my brow.
and if i continued to cling to spring as summer arrived, i’d squeeze the life out of so much good. it was time to let go, to keep living. to leave the comfortable knowing and blaze the unknown.
living again in the tension. . .
. . .with resistance perfectly measured from above.